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Still Wild Page 3


  Within a secret burrow in a secret spot within the forest, the ferret entered with the quarter. He was so interested in the coin that he bumped into a number of items that got in his way. After cursing a few times, he felt about for a switch, and an old flashlight was turned on. Instantly, a marvelous treasure of shiny things was revealed. Coins, bracelets, watches, and keys. Marbles, batteries, screws, and chains. Glass bottles, ceramic eggs, a pair of glasses, and pastel socks. It was all his, and he marveled at his collection with much pride.

  “Mine,” he whispered to himself as he walked through the seeming endless treasure that he had made his very own. “What do they need with these things? They toss them about as if they are nothing. I bring them here and do wondrous things with them.” He looked at the coin and turned it in circles trying to scrutinize every side of it. “They put a human head on this one, but they can no longer claim it. I own this head!” He laughed and tossed it among the treasure and laid out amidst the fortune in shiny things. He was very pleased with himself.

  It must now be said that this particular ferret had been very sick as of late. One might even say that he was on the verge of death. If a veterinarian had been given the opportunity to examine the creature, they would not have found any manner of disease within his body. The truth was that he was simply dying of starvation. He would lay for hours and hours in his treasure trove looking at all the sparkling glass and somehow feel as if he had everything he needed. When his stomach would rumble, he would pick up a coin and chew on it, but it did very little to satisfy him.

  On the night of his death, he looked up upon his ceiling with was draped with golden chains. He said to himself, “I’m not dying. I have everything I need right here. It’s all so beautiful. I have so many things. I have everything I want. I don’t need anything else. Stupid humans. They don’t share, so I must take. I am better than them. My home is beautiful. Look at it. I… can’t stop… looking at it.” And then he died. The stash was never found. The ferret had truly accomplished his task. He had stolen all the things he desired in life and took them to his grave.

  ~~~~~

  About These Stories

  About “Still Wild” – The original book “Wild” was not a very successful publication; however, I really did enjoy writing those stories. I got the urge to write them again. Many of these tales are “vents” on aspects of humanity I dislike. Some of them are simply matters of comedy because I was in a good mood. You may also notice that some of these stories open with “Once on a time…” rather than the traditional “Once upon a time…” This is a friendly salute to L. Frank Baum who used the former line in his early fairy tales. He is my favorite author of all time.

  About “Three Rats” – I had a difficult time coming up with a dark and sinister first story because I was so accustomed to writing fairy tales before I got started with this book. I decided to make the first story a fairy tale to help get it out of my system. I was also pleased to get the naked mole rat into a work of fiction since the creature is somewhat underappreciated.

  About “The Fox and his Food” – I think the common theme of this book in general is that you cannot trust people blindly. The fox in this story is not a good person, and even though the rabbit was to be eaten either way, he should have accepted his fate and not put those he loved in jeopardy. This said, the ending is still a tragedy. People like that fox should not exist on this planet.

  About “The Bad Crow” – Inspired by real events. Honestly, there was more I could have said on the matter, but I had story length standards I needed to keep within. There are humans like this out there, and I do not miss them when they are gone. I have no problem when bad people die.

  About “The Fatherless Possums” – I am not a big fan of the breakup of the family unit. It really is causing a lot of children to grow up with serious issues. That said, I had a wonderful time writing in hillbilly dialect. I always saw possums as more of the uncultured, hillbilly type. The day I write about an erudite possum is the day I have lost my mind.

  About “The Council of Sheep” – It is amazing how so many people in the world take on an opinion simply because it is what everyone else is doing. It is my belief that a lot of popular opinion is formed by wolves who want to control the sheep of the world. Instead of being convinced of something, I would rather just figure everything out for myself, and if I can’t figure it out, I have nothing against just saying “I don’t know” and move on. In this way, I avoid willingly walking into a wolf’s den to be eaten.

  About “The Otter’s Friend” –This is quite literally the result of me trying to write a story that leads up to a corny joke at the very end. I like otters. I think they are cute, and I laugh at the idea of one being depressed at eating her best friend on impulse. If you are looking for a moral to the tale, I think you will find a better presented one in “The Council of Sheep.”

  About “Group Therapy” – Seriously, no offense to anyone who had ever benefited from group therapy. I do understand that it works for some people. However, I am simply not a fan of the practice. It seems to me that it will just end up in story-swapping and form up into a club where nothing really gets done. I am sure some people may have had success in it, but I just don’t go for it. As a side note, chinchillas are really skittish creatures. How I presented them in this story is not too far from the truth.

  About “Expectations” – This is a lovely story written by my friend Lynn Ann O’Toole before her death. I simply wanted it published within this collection. That is all I will say on the matter.

  About “The Disgruntled Gerbil” – I like writing things fancy about as much as I like writing things hillbilly. I thought it was hilarious to have a cute little gerbil waxing erudite about the horrors of his life within a cage. Ultimately, he is not quite as important as he claims to be, and that makes it funny.

  About “The Miserly Ferret” – Ferrets really do this! Well, maybe not to the extent that the character did. I do not think I need to explain the moral of this one–being that it is pretty obvious. But really, ferrets do steal shiny things and stash them away. I cannot understand why. They can’t eat the stuff. It’s weird.

  ~~~~~

  Animals vs. Human Beings

  To be brief: Animals run entirely on pure instinct. They do not have a choice in anything they do. Everything is based off their inborn nature, and that is all there is to it.

  Human beings have a similar inborn instinct; however, they have the unique ability to make decisions and can actually override those impulses. They do not have to let their instincts drive them. This separates them from animals entirely.

  We are not feral, but if we allow ourselves, we can easily slip into that realm. We can quite literally become nothing more than just an animal, and that is a horrible thing. It is like taking all of that wonderful potential and tossing it away like it is nothing.

  We are human. Our ability to choose is what makes us special. Once we take that for granted, we give up our right to be human.

  Human Being [hyoo-muhn bee-ing]

  noun

  1. any individual of the genus Homo, especially a member of the species Homo sapiens.

  2. a person, especially as distinguished from animals or as representing the human species: living conditions not fit for human beings; a very generous human being.

  Animal   [an-uh-muhl]

  noun

  1. any member of the kingdom Animalia, comprising multicellular organisms that have a well-defined shape and usually limited growth, can move voluntarily, actively acquire food and digest it internally, and have sensory and nervous systems that allow them to respond rapidly to stimuli.

  2. any such living thing other than a human being.

  3. a mammal, as opposed to a fish, bird, etc.

  4. the physical, sensual, or carnal nature of human beings; animality: the animal in every person.

  5. an inhuman person; brutish or beastlike person: She married an animal.